4. BAD ASS CHIC(K)

Quick side note regarding the title of this post. Back in 2015, I had purchased a new vehicle. As I was showing off pictures and describing it to a good friend of mine, I called it "Bad Ass but still Chic". She thought it was the most hilarious thing and the perfect description. I had been gifted with the nickname "BAC" ever since then. This post is dedicated to her. [Thank you for your continuous support and being an amazing friend. Stay Fabulous <3 ]

When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, it might seem impossible to dig yourself out. The trick is to not lose hope. You have to persevere and stay tough. At the age of 16 I got my first job. I worked Friday nights and weekend shifts. During the summer, I would work every day. By the time I graduated high school I was working 2 part time jobs so I could save up enough money to put myself through university. I was determined to graduate without debt. By the time I was 22 I purchased my first home. Here's the truth though, I didn't buy my home for myself. I bought it for my parents to earn my freedom. You see, my parents were never wealthy. We didn't have money growing up. We had lived in a tiny basement suite for 17 years before the landlord kicked us out, because they wanted their space back. We ended up renting a duplex for a couple of years, but of course that meant rent doubled and my parents couldn't afford it. They needed me to pitch in. Here I was, thinking, I'm going to be stuck here forever. How will I ever be able to escape now if I'm still tied to my parents? I certainly did not want to move out and still have to pay rent to my parents for a place I'm not living at. And I desperately needed to move out. I had been planning my escape since I was 10. So, I decided to invest in a property. At least this way, even when I move out, I will be paying towards an asset that is mine. I'm investing in my future. I will be the opposite of my parents. In hindsight, I'm not really sure if that was the best decision to make. Maybe I should have just let my parents fend for themselves. They screwed up their own lives, why should I have to pay for it? But it's all about perspective and how you want to look at it. It's also not easy when you have parents that guilt you into taking care of them because it is expected. You know the whole "I sacrificed my life to raise you kids, now it's your turn to raise your parents as they become elders". *Insert eye roll*.

Since purchasing my property, I have battled so many challenges. For a while I was working 2 full time jobs and 1 part time, while putting myself through university. I was working 9AM-5PM shifts every day and then going to evening classes from 7PM-10PM and straight into graveyard shifts from 11PM-7AM. On the weekends I worked a part-time receptionist job and whichever day I wasn't working I would spend the day taking my mother out running errands. For about 2 years I did not sleep. I took 2 hour power naps here and there, whenever I could. I lived out of my car. I showered at community centres or gyms. It took me 9 years to graduate from a 4-year degree program. But I did it. By 2018 I had finally graduated and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. At no small cost, mind you.

After years of putting my body through hell by overworking and not sleeping, I developed very concerning health problems. I knew I had to make changes to my lifestyle if I wanted to live past 40. So I did. I work only 1 job now with fantastic employers, no school, still in debt - but working on fixing that. Life is still throwing challenges at me, and it continues to be hard, but I know I can face it. It will just take a little more time. And I realize now, what was the point in being so stubborn and working myself to death, if I wouldn't be alive to see my own success? Now I need to remind myself to slow down, take a breather and just be in the present. Stop to smell the roses as they say.

The point of this blog is to serve as a reminder that there will always be challenges to overcome. Because if it was too easy, is it even worth living? It is the satisfaction of being a bad ass and kicking life in the butt and showing the world you are stronger than most people give you credit for. At the same time, please be aware of self-care. Don't push your limits too far that you fall off the deep end. The world still needs you. Stay hopeful, and be patient, and continue kicking ass at your own pace. Eventually you'll see the light and it will be worth it. And remember, every little victory counts. Believe in yourself.