13. FOR BETTER OR WORST?

Have you ever met someone and almost instantly you felt this intense cosmic attraction? There's like a magnetic force that pulls you in, and you can't explain why. And I'm not talking about love at first sight, or romantic butterflies. I'm talking pure, raw connection with your body, mind and soul.

I've been reading lately about soulmates or soul connections. Did you know you can have more than one? Growing up, reading fairytales, we were led to believe that you could only have one soulmate; usually a romantic partner whom you live happily ever after with. In reality, that is not always the case. Out here in the real world, you aren't limited to just Prince Charming or Cinderella. Which, if you think about it, in a world where there are more than 7 billion people living in it, it makes sense for you to connect with multiple people, on multiple levels. The question here is, how do you differentiate between the different soulmates, and how do you know if that intense attraction you feel is for better or worst?

I generally consider myself to be more on the introverted side of the spectrum. It takes a lot of effort for me to be willing to connect with someone and open up. In recent years, while on my path to self-discovery, and authentic living, I have been consciously trying to alter my usual behaviour. I've been trying to be more open, more vulnerable, more daring and outspoken about my feelings. Whereas I am usually closed off to new encounters, I now allow myself to welcome such encounters with an open mind. By doing so, I have met some people that changed my life.

I believe the connections we choose to keep in our lives should balance us. There should be some kind of mutual benefit. Meaning, we are both helping each other grow and transform into strong, successful people, and to heal each other from our broken past; or support each other through both the good and the bad. We can lean on each other for honest companionship. We love each other unconditionally and unselfishly.

It is normal for people to come and go out of our lives. I am a strong believer that things always happen for a reason, even if that reason isn't evident at first. The experiences we have are supposed to teach us - especially the traumatic ones. I also think our soulmates come into our lives at specific moments for a reason. Sometimes, they stay in our lives forever, and sometimes they don't. But either way, they help shape us into better people and nudge us onto the path we are meant to go on. Soulmates can either be your lover, the one you are destined to spend your life with. They can also be your coworkers or professional mentors that guide you towards professional success. Your soulmate could be your best friend, whom you think of as a sibling, a stranger you talked to for 5 minutes at the coffee shop, or even just a new friend you connected with for a short period of time. Your soulmates are the ones that push you towards your life's purpose, they broaden your horizon and allow you to see things from multiple perspectives. That intense pull you are feeling when you connect with someone, there is a reason. It means you were meant to be in each other's lives, because in that moment of time, you both needed each other. And while it's important to recognize who your soulmates are, it's also important to know when to let them go; whether it's because their journey no longer aligns with yours, or simply the reason why they entered your life in the first place has already been fulfilled.

There is also a fine line between soulmate connections and toxic relationships. Attraction is confusing, and can often be misunderstood, misguided or misinterpreted. And you really do need to be careful about who you get attached to. You could meet the most sweetest and charming person one day, and soon learn they are controlling and abusive behind closed doors. It's important to not confuse control with love, or fear with love. When someone is controlling you and manipulating you, and letting you believe that they are doing you a favour by being in your life, they do not love you. You do not owe them your life. You do not owe them anything. If you are only holding onto them because you think no one else will think you are worthy enough, then that is not real love. If you think heated arguments are a sign of fiery passion and love, it is not. It is a combative, toxic relationship. That crazy intoxicating feeling you have when you meet someone? Don't let it confuse you. Soulmates save you. Toxic relationships destroy you. Ultimately, that's what you need to decide when you meet someone. Is this a fated attraction or a fatal attraction? For better or for worst?